New girlfriend....BIG shit

When I was 19 odd I managed to cop off with a rather charming bit of Posh totty from one of the posh girls schools near me...she was 16...gorgeous big boobs tucked into a tight white shirt and looked a wee bit like Helena Christiansen...anyway after regulary giving her a bit for about 3 months she finally plucked up the courage to introduce the rather chav like me to her mum and dad...I turned up after a night on the pop needing a MASSIVE shit..so I made my excuses and ventured into their downstairs W/C...I tried in vain to baffle the impending huge splash with some toilet paper however i was in a bit of a fix as there was only enought to either wipe my underneath or baffle the splash..I chose the former and let IT go..the resulting splosh must have been heard in france as a fucking CABLE slithered into the toilet accomapnied by the most revolting stench Id ever encountered. It took at least 3 fucking flushes to get rid and then there was the state of the bowl..it looked like the starting grid at monza and no Brush to get rid of the evidence, no airfreshener to hide the stench, the window wouldnt open and the radiator was on....I beat a very hasty retreat shortly after emerging from the scene of my crime.....